“True change is within; leave the outside as it is.” – Dalai Lama XIV:
The new year has just begun. Unlimited possibilities lie ahead of us. Right now we all have our hopes high(I’m hoping you have them high too! ). Each year we hope that this year finally brings transformation in our lives, resulting in more happiness and fulfillment. But in order to truly live a fulfilling life, we need to develop good habits. In this post, we will discuss about the ‘best’ habit that you can develop, which can be a stepping stone towards breaking bad habits and building good ones.
Why ‘New Year, New Me’, doesn’t work
Each year, most of us humans celebrate the 31st of December like there is no tomorrow. On the new year’s eve. we try to forget all the disappointments that we faced and rejoice about the great things that happened during the year. Also we try to feel grateful that we are still alive to witness unfolding of a brand new year in the course of human civilization.
Few hours later, the change of date occurs and we somehow hope that our life magically starts changing for good. That we get rid off our past fears, insecurities. We start wishing that the new year would bring us better pay at work, that it helps us meet our ‘true love’, and above all brings us loads of happiness.
In order to bring such changes in our lives, majority of us realize that we need to get rid of bad habits and develop good ones, which will bring us closer to our goals. However, after a few days we relapse and fall back into our old thought patterns and habits. So what makes us unable to break the chains of bad habits ?
What makes us fall back into our old habits ?
Each year, we fall back into the same thought patterns, which have resulted in our feeling of constant dis-ease with ourselves. This is because, we derive our identities from our memories, from the things that have happened to us in the past. So despite the new year, we will be projecting our past fears, insecurities into the future.
Whether we wish to break bad habits or build new ones, till the time we identify ourselves with our mind, every time the apt situation arises, past fears will keep popping up again and again. That is why, many people who decide to quit smoking on new year’s eve, find themselves smoking again, when confronted by a stressful situation. As a result, we keep on relapsing, living our lives in cycles, drowned in constant discontentment, chasing one thing after other, looking for happiness.
What stops us from breaking old habits is our inability to break out of our old thought patterns !
In order to break the old thought patterns we need to learn how to dis-identify with the mind. That is why I call the skill to dis identify with the mind, as the best habit that you can develop. But why is it so important to dis identify with you mind ?
“For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his very mind will be the greatest enemy.“- Bhagavad Gita
Why learning to dis identify with your mind, is the best habit ?
There are many ancient Sanskrit hymns, such as Nirvana Shatakam (by Adi Shankracharya), which have been written by enlightened sages, to remind oneself that you are not the mind, not the ego. Various practices such as meditation, chanting, etc. are all about training oneself to consciously break away from the compulsive thought patterns. This is done so that a person can learn conscious dis identification with his thoughts. Once a person stops identifying himself with the mind, he automatically starts controlling the mind.
Human mind is the most powerful tool in the world. However it’s a double edged sword. If we don’t learn how to control it, it results in feelings of fear, anger, frustration, depression and suicide. But once you have learnt how to control it, you can use it for you rather than against you.
Therefore, habit of constant dis identification with the mind is the best habit one can develop. Once you have learnt this, you fill finally start breaking out of your compulsive cycles of bad habits and build good habits that last.
If you enjoyed this post, you will also like : Top 5 Tips for Living a Happy Life by Enlightened Masters.
Great content! Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much. Wish you a happy new year 🙂